In theory, there will be two presidential debates between Donald Trump and Joe Biden. The first one is supposed to be on the 27th of this month and the second is scheduled for September 10. It takes a long time to replenish the presidential Adderall supply after a big appearance and Biden needs his nap time too.
The consensus among my friends and colleagues is that neither debate will happen. Biden can't speak English when reading from a teleprompter, his handlers can't have high hopes for his extemporaneous oratorical skills these days.
There are any number of weak excuses Team Joe could use to get out of it. Many believe he'll stomp his heavily-shod foot and refuse to be in the same room with a convicted felon. Of course, that's going to make Thanksgiving dinner awkward once Hunter's trial is over.
We're dealing with the Democrats, though, so they can make up anything. Now that they have 472 genders over there, they might just say that Biden has debilitating menstrual cramps and needs to take a powder from his debate obligations.
Should President LOLEightyonemillion actually show up, there are some things I hope that Trump does better this time around than he did in 2020.
I have repeatedly written over the years that I am a big fan of former President Trump's "shoot from the lip" style of speaking. What I've never clarified is that doesn't apply to all situations. When he's speaking at rallies or to the idiot propagandists in the mainstream media, I love it. There some occasions, however, where I think the tendency leads to unforced errors.
Because Republicans never learn, we know that the debates will be heavily biased towards the desiccated husk who currently occupies the Oval Office. Trump is going to be bombarded with "Gotcha!" questions and we can rest assured that they won't shut up about his Democrat-induced legal woes.
My first big hope is that Trump will just reject and refuse to answer questions like that. In fact, I would love to hear him say, "That's a stupid question," several times during the debate. He shouldn't give them the courtesy of elaborating; they know their questions are garbage set-ups.
One of Trump's dumbest moves in the 2020 debates was constantly interrupting Biden. Look, if I were in the same room listening to Biden I would want to shout him down too, but the optics weren't good for Trump.
Here's the thing — Trump really doesn't need to talk over or correct Biden. Again, 2024 Joe Biden can't string together three words, let alone three sentences. Trump just needs to let him talk and Joe Biden will do all of the PR damage to Joe Biden that he needs.
I suggested a few weeks ago that the Trump campaign should just compile video of Biden's public appearances and turn it into a series of campaign ads. Imagine how effective video of a slurring, incoherent Biden during a debate while Trump looks on with concern — or derision — would be.
Let Biden babble on in his tortured English about the time he and Corn Pop shaved a wildebeest while they were sharing SpaghettiOs with Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and Paula Deen.
The rest will take care of itself.
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